Thursday, January 3

Let no one think I gave in...

Sometimes when I say 'I'm okay', I really want someone to look me in the eye, hug me tight, and say 'I know you’re not okay'. Just because my eyes don’t tear doesn’t mean my heart doesn’t cry. And just because I come off strong, doesn’t mean there’s nothing wrong. The hardest part in life is trying to show the smile you know is fake, and to hide the tears that won’t stop. Behind this smile is everything you will never understand.

Let no one think I gave in. I took the high road, and for this I will be forever branded. I will carry a mark that can never be removed, and I accept that. For some, it will be a mark of disgrace and a cause for whispers. For those that have seen the low road, and the obvious sharp turn away, they will see my mark with understanding and will walk silently beside me as I work to learn from all of this.

I alone must make these decisions. Even though I know it will hurt me more to remain silent, I have never, and will never be a person that believes it necessary to hurt someone because I'm hurt. I can admit when I am wrong, and I can take responsibility for my actions. But I alone will know the extent of what was right and what was wrong in all of this.

I will move on, I will heal, I will get better. I WILL hold my head high. I will never let the pain from my past punish my present and paralyze my future. This will always follow me, but in my heart I know I was the better person for not taking anyone down with me, regardless if what was said was complete truth or not.

One day karma will knock, and you won't be able to lock your door. I honestly wish you luck.

1 comment:

Walker Family said...

Beautiful words... I do not know what has happened or what's going on in your life right now but I wish you well. If you want to catch up some time I would love to hear from you.